The joys of cold weather

Much as I enjoy not being chilled to the bone, there is one thing I am thankful for while living in a cold place and that is the lack of dangerous fauna. Not dangerous as in lions, or tigers, but dangerous as in stuff that you cannot even see. While an encounter with a Bengal Tiger would leave you dead, there is a certain openness and honesty in the whole thing. You can see it coming, you can take evasive action, and whatever the ending, it comes quick enough.
Compare that to being bitten by a Black Widow. You hardly notice it until it happens, and then you are fucked. And a Black Widow is pretty harmless as far as these critters go. Last week, I could jumpinto my basement through the undergrowth without totally fearing for my life. If I was a 100 miles or so south I would be really scared doing the same. What if you disturb a Brown Recluse? That spider carries scary necrotoxins. You hardly feel anything when she bites, 4 days later there is a gaping 6 inch hole where she bit. And it doesn't heal for a couple of years or more. For all dieters, if you want to lose your appetite, google for Brown Recluse bites. And worse, where is the Black Widow among the most likely to bite? On the dick, when you sit to take a shit. she comes out from under the lip of the crapper. I don't know if there are any documented cases of a spider going inside a pussy but it doesn't seem farfetched.

And spiders are hardly the worst of it, look at this giant centipede eating a mouse. This guy picks and eats bats from air. And yes, it can kill you. I am glad I haven't encountered any in real life. Then there are all sorts of worms and stuff that like living inside you. Like the guineaworm, grows to several feet inside you and then comes out slowly, cms a day, from the leg. Very Painful. And if you try to pull it out and it breaks, you could die from septic shock due to the rest of the worm dying inside you.

There's things like filariasis, which cause some body parts to zoom to elephantine proportions. Yes, those things between their legs are their balls. No, they are not really virile.

There's fish like the Candiru that like to swim into the penis (more commonly vagina) and lodge themselves in there and suck on your blood. There is no way to remove it except through surgery.

And I've even looked into the warmer oceans which are full of beautiful deadly organisms that can take your life in an instant. So the next time I am trudging through a foot deep snow, I'll remind myself that at least I am not likely to be stepping on a bao constrictor or a giant centipede, or some scorpion, or getting various parasites into my skin or what not.